Codependency Therapy, Online in New York, Massachusetts, and Florida

What codependency can look like

Codependency isn't a diagnosis. It's a pattern: your sense of being okay depends on how the people around you are doing. It often starts early, in families where someone had to keep the peace, and it can carry into friendships, work, and romantic relationships.

You might recognize some of this:

• Saying yes when you mean no, then quietly resenting it
• Feeling responsible for other people's moods
• Struggling to know what you want, apart from what others need
• Staying in relationships or roles long after they stopped working
• Feeling anxious or guilty when you set a boundary
• Giving far more than you get back, and feeling invisible

Codependence, independence, and interdependence

The goal of this work isn't to stop caring, or to need no one. Pulling away completely is its own kind of imbalance. What we work toward is interdependence: relationships where you can lean on people and let them lean on you, while you stay connected to your own needs, values, and limits.

• Codependence: your well-being rises and falls with someone else's
• Independence: you handle everything alone, even when you don't have to
• Interdependence: you stay yourself while staying close to others

How we work on it together

My approach is warm, collaborative, and holistic. We'll look at where the pattern started, what it protects you from, and what it costs you now. Then we'll practice new ways of showing up.

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) helps you get clear on your own values, so your choices come from what matters to you rather than from fear of letting someone down.
• Compassion-focused work softens the guilt and harsh self-judgment that often come with putting yourself first, and helps rebuild self-esteem worn down by years of over-giving.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps you notice the thoughts that drive people-pleasing and check them against what's actually true.
• Mindfulness-based skills help you sit with the discomfort of holding a boundary without rushing to fix it.
• Strength-based work builds on the care and loyalty you already have, pointed in a healthier direction.

Codependency and high sensitivity

Highly sensitive people often pick up on other people's feelings before anyone says a word, which can make over-giving feel automatic. If that sounds like you, my page on therapy for highly sensitive people may help too. And if the pattern shows up most in one relationship, see individual therapy for relationship issues.

The practical details

• Based in Albany, New York; sessions are online only, by secure video, for adults located in New York, Massachusetts, or Florida
• Individual sessions only; I don't provide couples counseling
• Sessions Monday through Thursday, 11:30 AM to 6:00 PM
• In-network with CDPHP, Highmark Blue Shield of Northeastern New York, and MVP Health Care. Superbills for out-of-network plans. See fees and insurance
• $200 per session, with a sliding scale available — ask if you may be eligible

Questions about codependency therapy